Sweet Kentucky Home

Saturday is one of the greatest sporting traditions Americana has to offer--the Kentucky Derby. On one hand, you have all the pageantry and tradition. The big hats, the signing of the state song, the elegant and massive horses, and the iconic track. On the other hand, you have the 150,000 people drinking for 7 hours, the gambling, and the sweet, delicious mint juleps being drank at an unhealthy rate. But tying everything together is the most exciting 2 minutes in sports.

I am always a sucker for things steeped in tradition. The Derby appealed to be even before I had gone there. That and I am a huge fan of all the fringe sports and competitions. The Hot Dog eating contest, the Great Outdoor Games, Bull Riding, and American Gladiators. The Derby manages to hit both of these categories and I will always have a fond memory of it.

But do not take my fondness of it as knowledge. I am going to give a quick rundown of the horses and their respective odds, but that does not make me an expert. If in fact you do make money off my suggestions though, you owe me 10%.

Here they are by post position:

1 Cool Coal Man
One of the cooler names in the race (no pun intended), he is trained by famed trainer Nick Zito. How do I know he is famed? Because I have heard of him. Apparently the first gate isn't ideal though. 20-1 odds.

2 Tale of Ekati
Not sure how I feel about the name. It sounds too much like it could be the subtitle of Final Fantasy 23. Apparently he is really named after a Diamond Mine. He struggled in a shorter race, so there is concern about his endurance. 15-1 odds.

3 Anak Nakal
Strange name, and it seems he is not such a good racer. He has lost his last 3 races by a combined 30 lengths. The silver lining is that his last win happened to be at Churchill Downs 5 months ago. 30-1 odds.

4 Court Vision
The owner also owns two AAU basketball teams and treats them as if they were NBA teams, hence the horse's name. He is becoming a trendy pick, but probably just because the sports articles I am reading now just like the name. 20-1 odds.

5 Eight Belles
The only female in the race! She must run faster since she doesn't have to deal with that huge horse...well you know, between her legs. Actually, its been 20 years since a filly won the Derby. 20-1 odds.

6 Z Fortune
You know those douchie kids with pretentious sounding names? That is this horse. The Z stands for the owner's last name Zayat. If this horse could run with a popped collar, it would. 15-1 odds.

7 Big Truck
The loveable loser of the race! First off, I like the name, although it makes him sound less like he should be competing in a race, and more in a "World's Strongest Horse" competition. (I would watch that). 50-1 odds.

8 Visionaire
He has what expert call the best pole position, so that must count for something. Plus he has Barbaro's old trainer which could be a blessing or a curse. 20-1 odds.

9 Pyro
He was the favorite to win for a while until his last race where he failed to move out of the gate at all and lost by...well the whole track. Still, this is my pick to win. You heard it here first. It has everything I look for--an awesome name, good position, and a proven track record. 6-1 odds.

10 Colonel John
He has the proven track record, in 6 races he has 4 first place finishes and 2 second place finishes, and he has the cool name (who doesn't love The Colonel!). To top it all off, he is SI's predicted winner. 4-1 Odds.

11 Z Humor
The other "Z" horse in the race. If the owner wanted to add a Z in there, why didn't he make up some fun names like "Z Plane! Z Plane!" or "lay Z boy". 30-1 odds.

12 Smooth Air
Smooth Air is 70 year old trainer Bennie Stutts first Derby horse. NBC is licking its lips in anticipation for a Smooth Air victory. 20-1 odds.

13 Bob Black Jack
I like this name a lot too. He is definitely a character in a cool Guy Richie movie. And apparently he is a great sprinter which doesn't bode too well for his Derby chances, but if it goes down to the wire, he can turn on the jets. 20-1o odds.

14 Monba
His owner Todd Pletcher is the Dan Marino of the Derby, winless in 19 tries. Last year he even had 5 horses, all for naught. Monba has people in the know buzzing that this might be it. 15-1 odds.

15 Adriano
His jockey is Edgar Pardo, one of the most famous jockeys in the business. So that has to stand for something. 30-1 odds.

16 Denis of Cork
Sentimental favorite around these parts, as his owner is William Warren, famous Notre Dame alumni. Also, the golf course is named after him. 20-1 odds.

17 Cowboy Cal
The Bandwagon of the Week! You gotta be pulling for this guy. He got a bad poll draw, he is somewhat of a longshot, and his owner also owns the Houston Texans. Go Cal! 20-1 odds.

18 Recapturetheglory
I am pretty sure I dislike this name. Too literal and, frankly, it comes off as a bit desperate. 20-1 odds.

19 Gayego
Everyone done giggling at the name? Good. No horse has ever won from the 19 slot before. But also, this is the first horse this trainer has ever entered. Somehow, that should connect, right? 15-1 odds.

20 Big Brown
The favorite. And the UPS commercials would write themselves if he ended up winning. Plus, his name reminds me of Big from Rob and Big. 3-1 odds.

Bet accordingly, drink accordingly, and save me a mint julep and a big flowery hat.