The Sports Watercooler

Now that the NCAA tournament is over, we have a winner in the first annual Bikes in Trees Tournament Pool. And the winner is......my little sister?!

As you know, the winner gets a post of their own. So today, its Mary's turn. Here is what she decided to write:

As much as I would enjoy really rubbing it in Kirby's face that his baby sister who chooses E! over ESPN on a daily basis destroyed him in the basketball picks, I'm going to refrain from doing so. I'm sure many of you would be interested in reading a blog written by the infamous girl who did in fact touch Ben Mckenzie, however i do not have the wit or Notre Dame diploma to do so. Rather, in Bikes in Trees style I'm going to leave you my favorite youtube. Enjoy.




P.S. I'm 19 year old college girl who doesn't even watch dancing with the stars. Although my mom does...

Uh oh! That's Kirby's Music!

I had the pleasure of attending Yankee stadium last night, and the bigger pleasure of sitting a mere 4 rows from the field. Close enough where our seats had signs warning us to beware of foul balls and that interfering with the actual game would get us kicked out. This is not a common occurrence, the next two games I will be going to, my seats are in the exact opposite location (4 rows from the very top).

I love live baseball, and I won't get into my reasons of listing why yet, I am going to build upon one aspect that is great, no matter if you go to a minor league game or a Yankees game--entrance music. One of the coolest things I have ever seen in professional sports in Mariano's entrance to "Enter Sandman" in the 9th inning. As soon as the first note hits, the fans know, and the whole places gets into a frenzy. By the time he hits the mound, I feel like even I could hit 96 on the gun.

This leads to the question, suppose you are a closer for a major league team. What would your song be? Answer how you will in the comments section (now open to everyone! Even the anonymous!). My top 5 is as follows:




5. 2Pac's Hit Em Up. Ignoring the fact that it would be strange to have a tall white guy walking out to some very NSFW rap, my only risk here is that while I am being pumped up, I may also inadvertently be pumping up the opponents number 3, 4, and 5 hitters at the same time.




4. Theme from Crimson Tide. I would have the stadium DJ start this at about the 1 minute mark. And crank it loud. At first the place would be a bit confused. An orchestra? But then it really starts going and without even realizing it, everyone is feeling this emotion in their hearts. A sense of pride. Of duty and honor. Of strike outs and fastballs.





3. Metallica's Whiskey in the Jar. This pretty much covers it all. A 90s hair rock band who eventually sold out covering a traditional Irish tune? I can only hope that would perfectly describe my pitching in song-form.


2. It's Raining Men. Yeah, you read that right. Just picture this. The other team is bracing themselves, knowing they have to score this inning in order to win the game. What better to knock them off their game than a roaringly gay anthem. Go get 'em girls!




1. ACDC's Hells Bells. As soon as the other team heard those bells toll at the beginning they would be shaking in their cleats. As I began my stroll to the mound (not too fast, not to slow) the music builds as does the excitement in the stadium. 5 warm up pitches and bring on your best man.

The Sports Watercooler

I will first start by saying that I was wrong. Yesterday I was lamenting how the championship game of the tournament always fails to match the awesomeness of the first weekend.

Well, last night's overtime thriller essentially killed that. It was a beautiful game, executed perfectly. A game marked not by mistakes and sloppy play, but by great basketball.

So hats off to Kansas for the last second shot to send the game to overtime, and for sealing the deal in overtime. NCAA Men's Basketball Champions.

Yet, I can't help but wonder, did Kansas win the championship, or did Memphis lose it? I remember watching those last 3 minutes in regulation and thinking (and possibly saying out loud) "This game is over."

How could they let Kansas back into it? Was it the terrible free throw shooting? They shot 1 for 5 from the line in the last 1:15. Or maybe it was their poor shot choices in OT. Instead of playing the game they did the first 38 minutes of the game, they panicked and hoisted up ill advised shots.

Then there is the forever on going debate...if you are up three with less than ten seconds to go (as Memphis was), why do you even let the other team attempt a 3 pointer? If they had fouled as Kansas brought the ball up, Chalmers wouldn't have had the opportunity to shoot the ball. Sure, there is a chance a Jayhawk could hit the first free throw, miss the second, Kansas could rebound and then have 8 seconds down 2, but isn't that more attractive than just letting them run a play to shoot a 3?

Anyways, whether Memphis choked it away, or Kansas simple took matters into their own hands, the last 10 minutes plus overtime were a glory to watch. Almost as much as this....take it away Luther!

Dancing Faux Pas

By Mufasa

Hey Dr. Grizz,

Great to be back. For those of you who don't know, Big Grizz's DVR went down last week, and (Ever since his weekend update netted over 8 readers, Big Grizz thinks he's hot stuff, so he doesn't' watch DWTS live, like the rest of "plebeian" [his words, not mine] America) he wasn't able to watch DWTS...Luckily, After huffing and puffing and blowing the the cable guy, he got it back. But I digress. I thought I would write you, Grizz, with a pre-episode letter expressing my extreme dissatisfaction at many of the dancing f aux-pas, I guess you'd call them, many celebriwannabes commit each and every week. Be sure to keep an eye out for these, because not only do they anger me, but I'm pretty sure they piss-off the other 3 Hispanic guys watching the show (quick shout out to Pedro, Juan, and Carlos):

1) The Double Wave - Luckily for us, this only occurs at the beginning of every show. Essentially what happens is the C-Listers walk down the steps with their partners (after their introductions) and stand in a big line (Men behind Women) for the camera to pan across. As the camera does this, some of the celebrities give a smile or an awkward head nod; hell even the big smile and 'hi-mom' is tolerable (once a season Steve Guttenburg...that's all you get). But for some unexplained reason, some of the celestial bodies (stars is being generous) decide to raise both hands, wave, and smile at the camera in what can only be described as Danny LoRusso getting high on PCP, going back to Mr. Miyagi's house, showing him the 'wax on' 'wax off' techniques simultaneously, and laughing like an idiot the whole time.

Biggest Offender: Everybody on the entire freaking show (but especially the Hair-candidate for ridolin-Spray Girl)
Annoying Factor (out of 10): 4 - But only because if Julianne did it I'd do a 180 and say it was the new high five
Final Verdict:This is an easy one to fix. Please Stars, remove the dopey grin, and give us a pleasant nod or single-hand wave.

2) The Campaign - This is an actual conversation had by Big Grizz and I during the last season of DWTS

Mufasa: "Wow...that dance by Marie Osmond made my eyes bleed."
Grizz: "Yeah, what the hell?? was she supposed to be a doll... too many hookups with Donnie."
Mufasa: "HOW DID SHE GET THIS FREAKIN FAR INTO THE COMPETITION!?!?! TOP 3!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!"
Grizz: "Oh wait, she just signaled that we should text and/or call in our votes"
Mufasa: "Ok, that settles it. We'll vote Marie Osmond to win it all."

After receiving their scores, Samantha Harris says one of her two lines (the other being "welcome to DWTS"), and asks everyone to call or text in their votes. The contestant, feeling as though Samantha can't complete a sentence (which is actually a valid sentiment...oh and quick note, I'm glad Marlee called out Samantha for shoving the microphone in her face...I mean come on, show some sense), decides to tell us to call in their vote by putting a "hand phone" up to their ear and mouthing "please vote." Other variations of this include pretend typing in the air, and pointing down to the text they can't see. Perhaps the biggest offense of all though is when they hold up their hand and tell us which number contestant they are. hmmm? they think we're stupid enough that we can't remember what number dancer they are, yet they expect us to navigate the intricate machinations of sending multiple numbers in the form of a text message? Glad they give us so much credit.

Biggest Offender: Mufasa is all about Women's Rights, but in this case I have to say most of the women do it.
Annoying Factor (out of 10): 7 - Its like a paper cut...on your junk
Final Verdict: Be gracious and stop campaigning for votes (this isn't' Hilary vs. Obama); I can't remember one champion ever doing this.

3) "Bizz" Terms - WHAT THE HELL IS MUSICALITY!?!?! I've been keeping track of every time the judges say this word, and I still have no idea what the hell it means? This baffles me more than hearing about the "Principle of Vertically" while watching March Madness the other day. So far Carrie-Anne is the biggest offender with 4 mentions of the elusive, yetti-like concept. Len comes in a distant second with only one mention, while Bruno (who probably doesn't' have it in his random-Italian-interjection to English translation book) has yet to mention it. Now I'm all for giving criticism when it is due, but complimenting someone's musicality is like saying you have a "great personality."

Biggest Offender: Carrie Anne InABBAwasthebestgroupofthe80's.
Annoying Factor (out of 10): 8 - Remember that scene in Silence of the Lambs where the girl is in the pit. Now imagine if the Serial Killer said "it puts more time in the studio to improve its musicality....it puts more time in the studio to improve its musicality" See what I mean? Made up words just don't sound as good.
Final Verdict: From now on I'm gonna start walking around talking about how "blogozemened" I am at everything happening in the world.

4) The Pop Star - This is the Cadillac of annoying gestures. The dancer, while performing their routine, mouthes (and presumably sings) the song while dancing. Now, I think Grizz and I have established the unending appreciation we both have for the Don of Music, Harold Wheeler. To me, when a dancer sings along while performing, they are completely ruining the munificent melodious acumen of HW. One variation of this occurs when the dancer, for some inexplicable reason, leaves their mouth open the entire dance. Mufasa's explanation: the dancer is accustomed to inserting long, thick, shaft-like items into their mouth, and when they dance they lose the focus of keeping their mouth closed. (Get your mind out of the gutter. The dancers are eating a good amount of Banana's to get rid of the lactic-acid buildup from practicing rigorously during the week).

Biggest Offender: Mark Cuban - At least he made it out of the first round, though.
Annoying Factor (out of 10): 10 - Remember that movie the Birds? Imagine that, only the Birds are in fact a swarm of Rosie O'Donnells.
Final Verdict: For the love of God, please stop this. If not for me, do it for HW.

Today's Reason to Drink

So not that you need a reason to, but in case someone asks why you busted open a can of beer or mixed a drink tonight with dinner you can tell them you are celebrating.

Today is the 75th anniversary of the repeal of Prohibition. Celebrate good times!

The Sports Watercooler

Well its finally here, the most anti-climactic championship in the world of sports--the NCAA basketball finals. After the best 4 days in sports, the tournament ends with a whimper on a Monday night.

Sure the matchup should be great. Kansas has arguable the most stacked line up of any team in the tournament, Memphis has the best freshman point guard who could do pretty much anything tonight and no one will be surprised.

Tonight's game should be fun though. Memphis has an exciting style of play, patterned (sort of) after the Phoenix Suns. Its fast, aggressive and fun to watch. Kansas is just straight up good. Both teams are just full of "athletes". Those types of players who can each play 2 or three positions.

On to baseball, with one week underway lets get some immediate reactions:

The Tigers and the Red Sox suck! Sitting at 0-6 and 3-4, these are two teams most picked to win the World Series. Yet they are both in the cellars of their divisions.

The Orioles are amazing! Sitting in first place in a loaded AL East, they just can't lose! All hail the power of Kevin Millar!

Speaking of hot teams right now, I present to you the Bandwagon Team of the Week!

Last week we chose the New York Rangers. The Rangers won dramatically against division leader Pittsburgh in OT on Monday, smoked the Islanders 3-0 on Thursday, but then lost to their rivals on Friday (I didn't know hockey played back to back games). And the ended their reign as the Bandwagon Team by losing a nail biter to the Devils last night.

So the New York Rangers finished 2-2, but locked up a playoff spot in the process, beat the first place team, split with their rival, and lost to a rival. Not too shabby.

This week, I would like to introduce you to the team tied for first place in the AL Central, your Bandwagon Team of the Week: The Kansas City Royals!

There is a lot to like about this team. After being one of the dominant teams of the 80s, hard times came fast. And for the last 20 years, the Royals have been somewhat of a joke. But with a new manager, a new GM and some smart moves, the Royals are closer to competing than ever before.

How are they sitting at 4-2 right now? Well their pitching staff has stepped up. People mocked the huge Gil Meche signing a year ago. Since he got his big paycheck though, the man has been producing. They also have a core of some young pitching (Brian Bannister 3 hit the Tigers last week), and a closer who will be dominant in years to come (he struck out the side against Minnesota yesterday for the save). They even got a win and a sub 2 ERA out of Brett Tomko!

The young hitters are coming into their own. Alex Gordon started the season on an All Star pace. Billy Butler is finally showing signs of his endless talent, and steady vets like Jose Guillan and Mark Grudzielanek are playing well. I believe this is the beginning of a new time for the Royals. Remember when they had an outfield that was Jermaine Dye, Carlos Beltran and Johnny Damon? I think the days of a Royal having a good year and leaving are over. Fans can embrace these players now because they will be wearing the blue and white for a long time.

The Royals have a rough week this week, and my bandwagon cheering may be hampered by the fact that they play my 2 favorite non-bandwagon teams (Yankees Tues through Thursday and Twins Friday to Sunday), but I will for sure be watching every one of their games this week, and I am pretty excited about it.

Let's Go Royals!

The Get Pumped for the Weekend Video

Today has been stressful and full of work. Yet still, I can't stop smiling. Why? Because Stone Temple Pilots are back! I feel reunited with a long lost friend and am walking around with a creepy smile all day.

So obviously, the song choice this Friday was pretty easy. Check out this live performance. I am shocked--SHOCKED!--that Velvet Revolver kicked Scott Wieland out of the band. There is no way he has ever done drugs. And he is such a graceful dancer!

Velvet Revolver's loss is the world's gain though, STP begins touring again this summer bringing joy and happiness to everyone along the way.

Enjoy your weekends.