Another Man's Take

By Big Grizz


Ed: Big Grizz wanted to get in on the baseball prediction action. And although it was pretty easy for me to not let my Minnesota bias influence my decision beyond the point of "I don't think they will stink thaaaaat bad", I bet you can guess from where Grizz reigns.

Ok Kirb,

Here are the picks. As evidenced by my close to last place position in the Big Grizz March Madness Bracket Spectacular, I'm as good at prognosticating as Star Jones is at being skinny.

AL Central: Tigers
AL East: Blue Jays
AL West: Mariners (we can agree on this one)
Wild Card: Yankees (you'll see why in a minute)

Quick Breakdown: Tigers - because they're my team. In the game against the Royals that we lost it was Verlander that blew it, NOT the bullpen. I think they will surprise. I also think Gary
Sheffield will match his pace to walk 648 times and Cabrera will hit 162 home runs but inexplicably only bat .200. AL East: This is merely a dream of mine that makes my knees sweat. I may pull for this more than the Tigers making the playoff. No reason other than they won't suck and it would be the ultimate slice of karma to see them beat out the Yankees and Sox. Side note - I've come to hate those freaking self-obsessed Red Sox fans more than Yankees fans now. Seriously, is there any city or team more obsessed with itself? Mariners - For the reasons Kirby outlined. Wildcard I picked the Yankees because I want any and everyone (including the Yankees) to piss on the Red Sox and I really don't think the Wild Card will come out of the Central.

AL Pennant: Tigers - No surprise here.

NL East: Mets - I hated Santana when he was with the Twins and however many games he starts, the Mets are guaranteed to win at least that many.

NL Central: Brew Crew - This is because unequivocally anytime anyone thinks the Cubs will be good, they ultimately fail. The Cubs are ultimately too good this year and are destined to do something restupidulous. The Cubs line up is stacked and Fukudome is going to be the MVP. Also, Kerry Wood will blow every save he attempts but no one will care because they can only think about the time he struck out 20 vs the Astros. I will never understand my city's love affair with Kerry Wood. Oh...why the Brewers? They are the second best team in that division.

NL West: No one cares and I can't stay up late enough to watch the games. Take every game Randy Johnson spends on the DL this year, multiply it by 6. That's how many games the DBacks will win. To find out the winner of that division, however, add 1.5 games you will have the Dodger's record.

Wild Card: Braves - Because they always make the playoffs and no one ever cares, except Jane Fonda...about apes.

NL Pennant: Brewers

World Series: Tigers in 4 (assuming Kenny Rogers cheats)

AL Cy Young; Jeremy Bonderman (he was supposed to win it last year and he feels bad he sucked last year)
Ed: I think you picked the wrong Tiger here homer. I think odds are Verlander winning the award ahead of Bonderman.
NL Cy Young: Santana - Duh.

AL MVP: A Rod
NL MVP: Fukudome

AL ROY: Buckholz
NL ROY: Cameron Maybin, he will get plenty of exposure on the AAA Marlins and he is an incredible talent. Even more awesome is the fact he still has braces. If he doesn't win it, the Marlin's dance troupe will: Introducing the Florida Manatees!

Other random Predictions:

Papelbon will blow 15+ saves
The Giants will be worse than the 62 Mets who were only slightly worse than the 02 Tigers.
Roger Clemens will be referred to as Inmate #4894235

Ultimate Take it to the Bank Prediction: Tim McCarver will cause my already embarrassingly low baseball IQ to drop by 0.4 for each minute of a broadcast that I watch that he provides the color commentary for.